Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Why do I have so many shoes?

Each morning I look into my closet and see so many shoes. I wonder where they all came from. Then I quickly remember, each shoe has attached to it a story, an outfit, an event or an emotion. This adds to the difficult choice of what shoe to wear for the day. If it is a fancy shoe, that will exclude it from all my casual outfits. If it is cold or rainy day weather shoe, that will eliminate it from being worn on sunny days. If it reminds me of a negative experience, I might try to avoid it when my spirits are high. On the contrary, I might cling to it, like a security blanket, when I want to feel sorry for myself. Then, there are those shoes, clearly outdated, that remind me of a time when I was young, carefree, and starry eyed. I can't wear them comfortably anymore, as my shoe size has changed with age. Besides, I am certain that the fashion police would surely arrest me before I made it half way down the block. So, I keep them in clear plastic shoe boxes and glaze up at them on the closet shelf from time to time. At last, after thirty minutes of this mental exercise, my watch beckons for a decision if I am going to make it to my next appointment on time. Oh boy...which shoe should I wear? And why do I have so many shoes, again? To tell you the truth, I am a little bit embarrassed to admit the actual number of shoes. Let's suffice it to say, I could go months without wearing the same shoe twice. Let me also admit, there a few shoes that I wish I had left behind in the store. You know what some say, "If the shoe fits, wear it!" While others claim, "I have never met a shoe that I didn't like!" I would like to add to the chorus, "Don't take home every shoe you try on."

Dating and relationships are kind of like the shoes in your closet. Can you identify with any of the "shoe" cliches above? Do you ever wonder where they all came from? Is it true that each relationship memory has attached to it a story, an outfit, an event or an emotion? If true, then how do you decide which relationship ought to be active or non-active in your day to day life? Do you make your decisions based on the weather, the upcoming events, or emotional context clues? Do you hold on too long to relationships that don't fit your current needs, desires, or stage in life? How much time do you spend thinking about your relationships: past, present and future? In which area of your relationship selection do you need guidance? Would you like a "do over" when it comes to your relationship selection history?

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